Until recently, I was constantly striving to be whole. As a coach I helped others focus on becoming whole. Thing is, I really didn’t know what being whole meant. I thought it meant an inner balance between the physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. I was so wrong.
My world suddenly changed, and I wasn’t whole at all. I couldn’t walk. I could barely feed myself. I couldn’t take a shower. I couldn’t find my words. My vision was blurry. I had headaches so bad I could barely breath. I was a sliver of my former self. And yet…
Broken but Shining
I believe it’s when we shatter, we see more clearly. That’s when the light shines through. All of my broken pieces were exposed. I couldn’t hide and here’s the kicker, I didn’t want to. A lot of my friends told me to stop being so open about my cancer. They were concerned I might get hurt. God love them but I was done not living in alignment with my authentic self. It’s why the cancer came calling in the first place. Yes, I was broken but I was shining brighter than ever before, and I wasn’t about to stop. I was becoming whole.
And…I’m still shining. Yes, there are days it’s hard to walk. I get tired. It’s hard to see. The headaches are relentless. But I refuse to dim my light. Why? Because I am profoundly joyful to just be alive. Joy changes everything. Once you let gratitude and joy into your heart, it snuffs out suffering. It’s hard to shine and suffer at the same time. Trust me, I know.
People who suffer from major health issues can feel less than whole. There are losses and I am not saying those losses aren’t hard. I am saying we always have a choice in how we respond. I decided I wasn’t going to be the victim that perpetually suffered. I could choose gratitude. I could choose joy. You can too. The first step is to practice gratitude. It’s easy. Just meditate on things you are grateful for. As I have said a hundred times, gratitude is the gateway to joy.
No, my body and mind are not perfect and I’m okay with that. That little shining sliver of Kimba is enough. It’s playful, pure, happy, and joyful. And you know what? I’d even go as far as to say…finally whole.
Everybody has their own healing journey. You gotta personalize it because what works for me may not work for you. It’s important to work with someone who understands dis-ease and healing within. If you are open, I can help you shine a little brighter. Contact me for session information.